Had I known about the sunsets...

...I would have moved out here a long time ago... There was a point on my retreat where I realized that all things are perfect and there is an understandable intelligence to all things.

tonight as I was preparing to leave to celebrate new years with my best friend... myself... I watch a leaf dangling in the sunset. this leaf perfect has lived its life... its season... and it is drying out... though there remains a thin pulse of ojas connecting the leaf to the tree, this too is drying up... at some point there will be the intelligence to know it is time to dry ... close off the flow of ojas... submit to the winds and fly away... becoming one with the winds... to become earth...

every moment has an opportunity to see the creative intelligence of the divine.

What is the biggest thing you learned this year?

So, today I had lunch with my friend Sumpuran. She will be caregiver numero uno for both mr. pants as well as ms. mouche. She is a lovely friend who is the proud pet of mr. winston and cookie.

We went to Taaj Palace for a very, very vata pacifying lunch preparing the way for a very vata inciting flight and evening itinerary. by the way... it worked... i feel pretty darn good and grounded.

Anyway, Sumpuran asked me what the biggest thing or maybe it was the most impressive or useful thing I have learned this year at the Institute.

I am floored to realize that I didn't have a concrete answer. It is actually a hard question to answer. It is a good opportunity for meditation.

This is the beginning of my answer:

One of the big things I learned this year is what it means to be situated in self. this is a multifaceted experience. on the one hand, it means something that I found fairly profound which is that i am important enough to be sure to take care of myself. in fact the only way i am truly effective for my clients is when i am truly effective in myself... balanced... the adage seems obvious, "Doctor, heal thyself." But really how many really take that to heart. A friend of mine described to me how the conventional medical school beats that concept out of you before you ever hit residency.

When the healer is sick or imbalanced, and we only see reflections of ourselves, how can we ever see the truth in the patient?

to be continued...

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.” - Anäis Nin

Please... Breathe!

For many in our culture, we are unaware that many of our issues stem from a fundamental non-awareness of ourselves. our bodies waste... our minds waste... we can't sleep... our bones break... our hormones are screwed up... our minds are confused... we hurt those around us... we hurt ourselves.

Please... Breathe...

I mean it.

Lie on your back.
Feel the ground.

Close your right nostril and slowly breath in through the left.
close the left and breathe out through the right.
breath in through the right.
close the right and breathe out through the left
repeat
repeat
repeat


this breath balances the mind

hormones

nervous system

please breathe...

even if you think there is nothing wrong with you

breathe

even if you think it isnt doing anything

do it every day for two weeks
5 minutes a day

wake up and before you get up breathe

after all, what is five minutes?

breathe

after doing this two weeks

how do you feel

how do you feel

feel

breathe for two weeks

do it for yourself... do it for those around you... it doesn't matter why... just do it.

transcendence, what is it?

What is meant by transcendence?... hm... transcendence is not to outside of oneself. It is in fact to almost become more of oneself...

In many philosophies there is a concept of a personal consciousness and an all encompassing consciousness... a person is a microcosm of the greater cosmic or universal macrocosm. In Christianity they talk of man being created in god's image. In ayurveda they say the same thing... In the interest of communication I am going to choose a couple of terms in order to better explain...

Terms:
buddhi: individual consciousness
mahat: cosmic consciousness
Transcendence: to go beyond
ego: that which allows all things to know who they are

when a person transcends in meditation he goes from a comprehension of buddhi, personal experience, into an experience of mahat, universal experience. It is a going beyond the ego and dip into the cosmic creativity.

many people discuss the ego as something to be squashed... not here. the ego is that knowledge that I am nomi. my liver cell knows it is a liver cell. the sunflower seed knows to become a sunflower.

The ego concept familiar to us in the west is a different, perverted concept. It is desire, which strengthens the ego into something that is hyperactive. ego is very strong and when it becomes out of balance with desire... desire to be greater than itself... it is cancer.

So transcendence is an expansion both inwardly as well as outwardly gaining clarity of perception of self bringing us in harmony with our innate self, the microcosm of this great macrocosm.

in this way we can access our inner teacher... the true teacher is within us.

I hope you are well and can forgive all this blah blah blah and take it for what it is. :)

Almost... Almost... Nearly... Nearly...

So this weekend changed constantly... By which I mean that it was quit unusual...

I took a nap yesterday AND today

rest rest rest

meditation
yoga
philosophy class with a new friend

sold a piece of jewelry

new show next weekend

blah blah blah

my friendships are so strong right now... it is quite beautiful... there is so much love in the world...

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

gandhiji

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

einstein

If things aren't right... then change.

so much love to all

may there be peace in this world

may there be peace in this world

may there be peace in this world

Transition

Transition is movement.

To have transition can be a bit ungrounding... Its interesting because it is actually doing something....

the difference between 0 and 1

When there is nothing there is nothing.... But as soon as there is anything that is totally different. It doesn't really even matter how much of something...

That is what things have felt like lately.

and its not over....

I moved over Thanksgiving... and I changed more than locations... I have been auditing the evening lecture, gaining understanding in many areas of consciousness, discovering love in the Divine Realms, applying and getting ready for the next level of education and decorating a new place.... having jewelry shows... and on and on.... it goes


wow

I thought maybe someone else might enjoy a little advice :)

The emotions are good to come out... they are also a sign that you could use a little more nurturing... You can do this by noticing a sunset... playing hooky from the world... buying yourself some sunflowers and know that it is all because of beauty and love...

We can't do everything all by ourselves... sometimes you need to just call a friend or someone you don't know very well and get a cup of tea and walk around the block

sometimes shopping is fun... no need to buy anything

sometimes... waking up early and lying in bed and dozing in and out of sleep is good.

there is something that is good for you... something that you find beautiful that fills your spirit with love, with devotion... sometimes a trip to santa fe in this festive season to walk around with all the people and the lights and the bitter winds is just the right medicine.

know that you are loved and that you are love. you can nourish yourself through food though and action...

One year Ago...

One year ago today
I walked to class for the first time

One year ago today
mom and I drove all the way here

One year ago today
We bought furniture... a rug

One year ago today
I left the comforts of a familiar life

to follow an intended one...

One year later
watching the new students come to class for the first time
Imagining them buying towels, dishes, beds...

One year later
I am part of the Institute
part of a large community
at peace in (my) self

thank you!

Health Care Reform... Michelle Obama's speech

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the First Lady
_____________________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release September 18, 2009

REMARKS BY THE FIRST LADY
ON WHAT HEALTH INSURANCE REFORM MEANS
FOR WOMEN AND FAMILIES

Eisenhower Executive Office Building
Room 450

11:33 A.M. EDT

MRS. OBAMA: Thank you. Thank you all. Please, sit. Rest. (Laughter.) First of all, good morning. I am so thrilled to see so many of you here this morning at the White House. Welcome. And that's including my good friend, Dr. Dorothy Height. (Applause.) You know, she is always there, for the past eight months and before. If there was a big event, an important event, she finds a way to be here. She is my inspiration, and it is wonderful to see you again today. Thank you so much. (Applause.)

Thank you all for joining us today for the outstanding work you're doing every day on behalf of women and families all across this country. I have to thank our extraordinary Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, for taking the time to be here. (Applause.) And for her tireless efforts to keep our nation healthy. And that includes not just pushing for health insurance reform but preparing us for H1N1, pursuing cutting-edge research to find treatments and cures for tomorrow. Clearly this is not the easiest portfolio she could have, but she is doing a terrific job, and we are grateful for her leadership.

And I also want to thank Tina Tchen, who you all know, for emceeing today. (Applause.) She, too, is doing a fabulous job as Director of our Office of Public Engagement, and she played a critical role in pulling together today's event -- not just as an emcee but as a key figurehead, making sure that we're all aware of what's going on.

And finally, I want to thank the three women behind me -- to Debi, Easter, and Roxi. (Applause.) It is not easy to come here and tell your story. And these stories aren't new. You know, these stories are happening all over this country, not just for thousands of women -- for millions of them. For two years on the campaign trail, this was what I heard from women, that they were being crushed, crushed by the current structure of our health care. Crushed. But these stories that we've heard today, and all of us -- if we're not experiencing it, we know someone who is. These are the stories that remind us about what's at stake in this debate. This is really all that matters. This is why we are fighting so hard for health insurance reform. This is it. This is the face of the fight.

And that's why I'd like to talk to you today. That's why I'm here. That's why reform is so critical in this country -- not tomorrow, not in a few years, but right now. People are hurting in this country right now.

But there is also a reason why I invited this particular group to talk today. There's a reason why we've invited the leaders not only from family advocacy groups and health care advocacy groups, but for so many organizations that have been fighting for decades for empowerment for women. And that's because when it comes to health care, as the Secretary said, as we all know, women play a unique and increasingly significant role in our families. We know the pain, because we are usually the ones dealing with it.

Eight in 10 women, mothers, report that they're the ones responsible for choosing their children's doctor, for getting them to their checkups, for managing that follow-up care. Women are the ones to do it. Mothers are the ones that do it. And many women find themselves doing the same thing for their spouses. (Laughter.) And more than 10 percent of women in this country are currently caring for a sick or elderly relative. It's often a parent, but it could a grandparent, or a mother -- or a relative of some sort -- but it's often a parent. So they're making critical health care decisions for those family members as well.

In other words, being part of the sandwich generation, is what we are now finding, raising kids while caring for a sick or elderly parent, that's not just a work/family balance issue anymore. It's not just an economic issue anymore. More and more it is a health care issue. It's something that I have thought a great deal about as a mother.

I will never forget the time eight years ago when Sasha was four months that she would not stop crying. And she was not a crier, so we knew something was wrong. So we fortunately were able to take her to our pediatrician that next morning. He examined her and same something's wrong. We didn't know what. But he told us that she could have meningitis. So we were terrified. He said, get to the emergency room right away.

And fortunately for us, things worked out, because she is now the Sasha that we all know and love today -- (laughter) -- who is causing me great -- excitement. (Laughter.)

But it is that moment in our lives that flashes through my head every time we engage in this health insurance conversation. It's that moment in my life. Because I think about what on earth would we have done if we had not had insurance. What would have happened to that beautiful little girl if we hadn't been able to get to a pediatrician who was able to get us to an emergency room? The consequences I can't even imagine. She could have lost her hearing. She could have lost her life if we had had to wait because of insurance.

And it was also fortunate that we happened to have good insurance, right? Because if we hadn't had good insurance, like many of the panelists up here, we would have been saddled with costs for covering that emergency room visit for her two days in the hospital. We would have still been paying off those bills.

And this issue isn't something that I've thought about as a mother. I think about it as a daughter. As many of you know, my father had multiple sclerosis. He contracted it in his twenties. And as you all know, my father was a rock. He was able to get up and go to work every day, even though it got harder for him as he got sicker and more debilitated. And I find myself thinking, what would we have done as a family on the South Side of Chicago if my father hadn't had insurance, if he hadn't been able to cover his treatments? What would it have done to him to think that his illness could have put his entire family into bankruptcy? And what if he had lost his job, which fortunately he never did? What if his company had changed insurance, which fortunately never happened, and we became one of the millions of Americans, families, who can't get insurance because of a preexisting condition?

So these are the thoughts that run through my mind as I watch this debate and hope that we get it right.

But let's be clear: Women aren't just disproportionately affected by this issue because of the roles that we play in families. As Tina and Kathleen mentioned, women are affected because of the jobs that we do in this economy. We all know that women are more likely to work part-time, or to work in small companies or businesses that don't provide any insurance at all.

Women are affected because, as we heard, in many states, insurance companies can still discriminate because of gender. And this is still shocking to me. These are the kind of facts that still wake me up at night; that women in this country have been denied coverage because of preexisting conditions like having a C-section or having had a baby. In some states, it is still legal to deny a woman coverage because she's been the victim of domestic violence.

And a recent study showed that 25-year-old women are charged up to 45 percent more for insurance than 25-year-old men for the exact same coverage. And as the age goes up, you get to 40, that disparity increases to 48 percent -- 48 percent difference for women for the exact same coverage in this country.

But it's not just women without insurance, as we've heard, as we know who are affected. Plenty of women have insurance. But it doesn't cover basic women's health services like maternity care or preventative care like mammograms or pap smears, which we all know we have to have. We can't go without these basic services. But many insurance policies don't even cover it.

Or policies cap the amount of coverage that you can receive, as you've heard, or it drops coverage when people get sick and they really need the care. Or maybe people have coverage but they're worried about losing it if they lose their jobs or if they change jobs or if the company changes insurance carriers. Out-of-pocket costs get higher and higher. It's hard to be able to plan your monthly bills when you don't know what your premiums are going to be. So a lot of people find they have to drop their insurance because they can no longer afford it.

Just think about it. Many women are being charged more in health care coverage, but as we all know, women are earning less. We all know that women earn 78 cents on the dollar to every men -- to a man. So it's not exactly surprising when we hear statistics that more than half of women report putting off needed medical care simply because they can't afford it.

Now, we have trouble putting ourselves first when we have the resources -- just making the appointment when you have insurance to get your regular screenings, to take care of those illnesses, those bumps and lumps and pains that we tend to ignore. But then not to be able to do it because you can't have insurance, you don't have insurance -- it's not surprising that so many millions of women around this country are simply going without insurance at all.

See, and the thing that we all know is that the current state -- this current situation is unacceptable. It is unacceptable. (Applause.) No one in this country should be treated that way. It's not fair. It's not right. And these are hard-working people we're talking about, right? People who care about their kids, care about their lives. And these circumstances could happen to any of us. This is one of those, "There but for the grace of God go I" kind of situations. None of us are exempt -- ever.

So I think it's clear that health insurance reform and what it means for our families is very much a women's issue. It is very much a women's issue.

And if we want to achieve true equality for women, if that is our goal; if we want to ensure that women have opportunities that they deserve, if that is our goal; if we want women to be able to care for their families and pursue things that they could never imagine, then we have to reform the system. We have to reform the system. The status quo is unacceptable. It is holding women and families back, and we know it.

Fortunately, that is exactly what my husband's plan proposes to do, and it's important for us to understand some of the basic principles of that plan. Under his plan, if you don't have insurance now, or you lose your insurance at some point in the future, you'll be able to purchase affordable coverage through an insurance exchange -- a marketplace with a variety of options that will let you compare prices and benefits. This is exactly the approach that is used to provide members of Congress with insurance. So the thought is that if it's good enough for members of Congress, it should be good enough for the people who vote them in. (Applause.)

And this is also an important part of the plan. If you already have insurance -- and it seems that there are a lot of people who are worried that they'll lose what they have under this plan -- but under this plan, if you already have insurance, you're set. Nothing changes. You keep your insurance, you keep your doctors -- and you're blessed. (Laughter.) This plan just puts in place some basic rules of the road to protect you from the kinds of abuses and unfair practices that we've heard.

Under this plan, insurance companies will never again be allowed to deny people like Debi and her son coverage for preexisting conditions. Sounds like a good thing. So whether you have breast cancer, diabetes, asthma, or hypertension -- or even just had a C-section, or some mental health treatment that you had in your past -- none of that will be a reason to refuse you coverage under the plan that my husband is proposing. Because when you're fighting an illness, he believes that you shouldn't also have to be in the process of fighting the insurance companies at the same time. (Applause.) It's a basic idea.

Under this plan, insurance companies will no longer be able to drop your coverage when you get too sick, or refuse to pay for the care that you need, or to set a cap on the amount of coverage that you can get. And it will limit how much they can charge you for out-of-pocket expenses, because getting sick in this country shouldn't mean that you go bankrupt. That's a basic principle of this plan.

And finally, this plan will require insurance companies to cover basic preventative care. Seems simple. (Applause.) From routine checkups, to mammograms, to pap smears -- and this would come at no extra charge to the patient, so folks like Roxi can get the chance to get the kind of screenings that she needs to save her life, because we already know that if we catch diseases like cancer early -- we know this -- it's much less costly to treat, and we might just be able to save some lives. We know this.

So, under this plan, we can save lives and we can save money. It's not just good medicine but it's good economics as well.

So I think this is a pretty reasonable plan. I don't know about you. (Applause.) But I know many of you believe it's a good plan as well. And I know that many of the groups that you represent believe that what we're doing here, this fight, is important. It's important to this country, it's important to women, it's important to families that we succeed.

And now more than ever, as Tina said, as Secretary Sebelius said, we need to act. No longer can we sit by and watch the debate take on a life of its own. It is up to us to get involved, because what we have to remember is that now more than ever, we have to channel our passions into change.

That's nothing that you all haven't done before, right? (Laughter.) You all have been the driving force behind so many of our greatest health care achievements, whether it's been children's health insurance; to funding breast cancer research, stem cell research; to passing the Family Medical Leave Act. The folks in this room, you're the ones that made those phone calls, right? That you wrote those letters, you knocked on those doors. You're the ones that helped make that happen.

And that's exactly what we need you to do today for health insurance reform. We are going to need you over the next few weeks to mobilize like you've never mobilized before. We need you to educate your members about what the plan really is and what it isn't, because education is the key to understanding, and it's going to take phone calls to explain, to talk things through, to make sure that people understand not just what's at stake but what this all means.

And we know there will be all sorts of myths and misconceptions about what the plan is and isn't, so it's so important that you make sure that people know the facts, and at least they make their decisions based on the truth of what this plan is and isn't. We need you to make your voices heard right here in Washington. And you all know how to do that. (Laughter.)

And no, it won't be easy, because there are always folks who are a little afraid of change. We all understand that. We talked about this all during the campaign. Change is hard. Sometimes the status quo, even if it isn't right, feels comfortable because it's what we know. So it is understandable that people are cautious about moving into a new place in this society. There will always be folks who will want things to stay just the way they are, to settle for the world as it is. We talked about that so much. This is one of those times.

But look, I am here today, standing before you as the First Lady of the United States of America, because you all didn't settle for the world as it is, right? (Applause.) You refused to settle. And as a result of many of your efforts, as a young girl, I was able to dream in ways that I could have never imagined, that my mother could never have imagined, that my grandmother could never have imagined. And thanks to so many of you, I am raising these beautiful young women, you know -- (applause) -- who are going to be able to think so differently about their place in the world because of the work that you've done.

Health care reform is part of that movement. Health insurance reform is the next step. So we're going to need you all, focused and clear, picking up the phones, talking, calling, writing your congressmen and women, making this something that is the highest priority for all of us, so that we can make sure that every single family in this country can move forward as we hope that they can; that they don't have to worry about whether they can insure themselves. They don't have to worry about whether their kids are going to break an arm. That's what kids do, they break stuff. (Laughter.)

So I am grateful for all of you, for the work that you've done, and for what I know that we can do together over the next several weeks. But we have to be, what, fired up and what?

AUDIENCE: Ready to go!

MRS. OBAMA: And ready to go. A little fired up and ready to go. So thank you so much. God bless you all, and God bless America. (Applause.)

END
11:57 A.M. EDT

With a Flower

I hide myself within my flower,

That wearing on your breast,

You, unsuspecting, wear me too --

And angels know the rest.



I hide myself within my flower,

That, fading from your vase,

You, unsuspecting, feel for me

Almost a loneliness.







- Emily Dickinson

From: Poems by Emily Dickinson Series One

Edited by two of her friends

Mabel Loomis Todd and T.W. Higginson




Its funny... when I am too busy to see my feet... I turn to poetry...

Focus

The place I generally find myself:

I find myself in this place in a not so irregular basis...

This is the place where I have agreed to many things.

My interest in the greater good outshines my own ability to express myself in my preferred methods.

I become over active... over committed and unable to step back...

It is refocus time once again... Each day is filled with such intense lessons... each trip fills me with questions and dreams and ideas... each morning is an expression of beauty and joy.

It is time to focus energy into the path divinely guided... to insure the path is continued...


soooo huuummmmmmm

Health Care Reform

Thoughts Regarding Health Care in the United States of America

I go into writing these thoughts without emotion... In fact I am writing on one of the few days where I am not emotional regarding this detail or that detail in the Health Care discussion... or better yet a detail in the actual experience of Health Care in New Mexico.

I notice a couple of things in this health care "debate"... the first thing is that I don't know that debate.

There is much lip service given to people talking about a health care plan; however, one rarely hears or reads any actual plan. These echo chambers are very dramatic enlisting those most afraid of this or that to insight violence. One side becomes frantic that the health reform will encourage something like abortion and a group becomes violent beating up those who would support a health care plan and the we see on the news that people are crazy around this health care bill... When at the heart of such a problem, all I can see is that powers that be are scaring people who really need to feel safe. Throughout this, no one reads the bill of the day. At the end of the day, this is what comes through the press.

The press and that vast information highway report not on the actual discussions in congress, not on the bill itself; but on those who insight violence around their fears for their own security. That is what health care is... personal security. I have been sitting with a friend who is on parental nutrition. She has to surrender to this nutrition that is stregnthening her as a tool toward her healing process. This is a security to go on and understand her illness and heal.

I watch, as I go to the hospital day after day for four to nine hours a day the incredible disconnect between health and the disease management approach to health care that our allopathic medical professionals practice. As we sat in the ER from 9am for the rest of the day, we sat with a full waiting room. Many patients to be had sat there for more than twenty hours. The only food available were candy machines. The only beverage was a soda machine. On the television set played soap operas... Every group of commercials had at least one ad for one or another prescription drug. These are the obvious signs of disconnect.

The subtle signs of disconnect are things such as the inability for patients to walk outside while they wait.. There is a total lack of natural light. They use very bright fluorescent lights that gie headaches and dry the skin. There is no water available. The paint makes very thing look sick. The room is not clean. There is trash from the paper towels from the bathroom. There are very few trash cans. And everyone around you is really sick and untreated. This can include infectious illnesses.

Now we are in a hospital room. My friend, who is being treated for something, for lack of a better term, is called "post infectious irritable bowel syndrome." Which by their own admission, means the GI docs don't really understand what is going on. For dinner yesterday, she was given
a beef enchilada with green chillies, milk, grapes, and french fries. This was sent by the nutritionists and dietitians to a woman who cannot digest foods. If we use use a little bit of logic, we, as lay people, can probably deduce that she will not be able to handle this food. Twice she has been served roast beef fried potatoes and milk. This disconnect between food and health is another indication of the disease management model. But can none of us remember what our grandmother's said? "You are what you eat."

I bring her food. I give her massage. They hire a candy striper to give her a magazine and plastic backscratcher and a fuzzy plastic frog. They hook her legs up to these large plastic funnels that are plugged in and squeeze her legs. What happen to people? A licensed massage therapist should be able to offer the massage, but this version of massage has the nurturing oil, human touch, compassionate healing. How is it that we forget that what we do is just as important if not more important than the drugs we give.

The Health Care System is broken. Pushing band aids through congress as fast as possible might make the appearance that the congress got something done, but band-aids on a sieve are still band-aids on a sieve. The promise to reform health care was the promise to overhaul the system from the bottom up. I am all for it.

The current Health Care paradigm encourages disease. Health promotion rewards General Docs for the health of their patients. This is a totally different paradigm. On the one hand no one makes any money on healthy people. PEople make money when people are sick.

Proper attitudes towards food and lifestyle and business and ethics are the greatest, cheapest, and easiest tools that we have. Learning and understanding and nurturing our bodies and minds brings health. Taking responsibility of our daily life bring health. But we have to get real.

Who is going to make any money on that? The current paradigm is a for profit paradigm. The pharmaceudical company has fiduciary to their stock holders. Their efforts are mandated by law to make the stock holders money. Although this framework works for many businesses, it does not work for medicine. There is no stock holder reward for the health of people. There is no incentive to cure cancer or anything else. There is no fiduciary to the consumer, the sick.

I am not saying that we should socialize. But I do think that a non-profit model would show a great shift in the ethics of the system. Reward healers for their healthy patients.

We have to stop catering to all of the companies and people who make as much money off of us as they can. I would rather be sued by a large corporation for saying that their "food" is killing us, than try to skirt the issue. But it seems that we are more afraid of being sued by fast food giants than saying you cannot eat that stuff unless you want to destroy your arteries and your heart. We need to get real and honest about the correlation between artificial sweeteners and ADHD. Soda is not good for you. It doesn't matter if you have regular or sugar free. Splenda is not natural. You body does not know what to do with these things. A box of something is never fresh. These are the reasons that we are sick. This is why we think it is normal to have horrible PMS or headaches or insomnia or osteoporosis. We are told it is part of aging or something else equally as unscientific. If you want to tax cigarettes, you should also tax trans fats and artificial sugars.

Someone once said, "if your grandmother would not know what to do with it, it isn't food."

How did you grandmother cook?

Or maybe your great-grandmother...

The point is that there are cultures in remote portions of Africa that have not been touched by our western progress who sport healthy bodies and a full set of large, beautiful, white teeth.

This is true natural living.

I want the promise of a Reformed Health Care System. Take you time. Talk to people outside of the current system. Go to the hospital. Watch the Bucket List. List to the Senate: http://help.senate.gov/Hearings/2009_02_26/2009_02_26.html

It's time to get real. We voted for change. Let's see some change.

Think outside the box.

Allopathy and licensed and unlicensed Complimentary and Alternative Medical therapies work well together. Lets find the best medical system in the world for the good humanity.

Promote Health!



Thank you

--
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

einstein

one week to go

so this week has been huge...

in terms of hours as well as accomplishments...

and the really interesting part is that i realized when I woke up this morning... my usual time between 530 and 6am... that I was really tired... i stayed in bed until 715... so i am really looking forward to some sleep!!

and relaxation... maybe a pool!!

so this week... i presented two clients and in the audience... well let me go back...

there are about 40 students in the class, dr. lad, and panchakarma clients... so the room is full and there is 90 minutes dedicated to my presentation of my client with my client in the room... it is a bit nerveracking because not only is it a bit of a testament to what one understands in front of our teacher who is a true master ... so you can imagine that one would think to present the easier cases that one has worked on... well, as some of you may have figured out over the years, I am rarely one to make things simple... My bright idea was to choose the clients that needed the experience the most... that is to say my most difficult cases...

so

on monday I presented a woman who was quite a difficult case and then on tuesday when i came in this group of panchakarma clients from florida where quite complimentary as were certain of my fellow students... and when the florida people heard that i was presenting on wednesday evening they said that they wanted to come back to listen... and they did... and they invited me to florida to do lecture and consultation... wow... so that is interesting... we shall see what comes of it...

i have one week of classes to go and this weekend i decided that i really need a trip to santa fe.. to walk canyon road and look at a bunch of art!! i will finish at the tea house for a glass of wine... and just simply relax...

i really don't know that i will ever be able to put into words what the experience of learning with dr. lad is like... in fact this may be one of those experiences that no one could put into words... it is truely an experience that has no equal... and i feel very fortunate to be here doing this work...

Love

love is not the opposite of hate
love is not the opposite of anger
love is not the opposite of sadness
love is beyond these things
love is to look in that face of your boyfriend with compassion when they tell you they hate you
love to see the beautiful face of a woman
the innocent face of a child
the spirit of the mountain
and that mountain, that woman that child brings a tear to your eye

love is awareness ... expanded self
love is beyond self

love is in the gap
love is that which is in between the shadow and the wall...

pure awareness

there is no distinction or division between the observer and the observed

awareness is the painter whose brush, perception, creation and model are one

awareness is love

love is awareness

love is not attachment
love is not obsession
love has no criteria

love is compassion
love is awareness
and love is allowing everyone to be who they are

love is

taking my own advice

So I was walking last night with a friend who last year had dropped the program...He was in town for a weekend seminar... He is going through a really difficult thing and to be honest, I can't say I didn't warn him. But, at any rate, we all have to go through a bit of darkness before we can frolic in the sunshine... So I recommended that he start creating his own space online by publishing his thoughts in a blog, much like this one. It is a brilliant idea and I started this last october to let people know what was going on and explain a bit of what i am doing with this crazy ayurveda stuff... and at some point, it became too complicated to explain all of this stuff and I became too busy and blah blah blah and my writing for the most part stopped. So, I made an agreement with myself. I am going to continue with my blog... in the way i intended so many months ago... and i believe that now it will be easier as i am assimilating this stuff so much more deeply and fully.

And it is a good exercise for explaining things outside of my current vernacular. So, this also means that questions are welcome... just attach them in the comments... and i will start to answer them...

I am seeing clients and up until now I have 2 regular yoga clients per week and five full ayurvedic clients and i am faced with having too many clients for the program and that is okay :)

Also I realized something a week or two ago... and it is this... people are sick... and i have agreed to recommend them to an MD when I see a need for referal... I have spotted one case of diabetes that i believe will be considered minor once tested. and this is the beauty of ayurveda... very early detection... there is still a major possibility that this can be managed and healed... but it also means that next weekend, I am to tell a woman that I believe she should be tested for diabetes. hmmm.. forgot that where mostly i am in these relationships with clients who are improving... the other edge of that sword is the side where there is an issue... and i have to tell them.

I have also located a case of fibromyalgia and the nice thing is that I can also provide the treatment protocol for what is called vata pushing pitta in mamsa dhatu...

this is our language of pathogenesis... vata pushing pitta into mamsa dhatu... what that means is that the movement principle (air/space) of the body is pushing the transformation (fire/water) principle in to the muscle tissues. This is of course not the only manifestation of the vata pushing pitta paradigm in the body and mind... but we are taught to treat both the root cause of the imbalance as well as the manifestations of the imbalance.

hmm... i am writing to you from the top of the mountain... in fact i am at a startbucks located across from a green space that shows views of prehistoric volcanoes a hundred or so miles away... the cumulus clouds are nestled comfortably overhead. They may in fact be stratocumulus perlucidus clouds... I do not know... but that reference is a tipping of the hat to my dear friend jerry... I started looking the terms up after our chat...

the winds are steady and the day has a tremendous calm... we could say the doshas, vata pitta kapha are in good harmony for this climate... :)


ciao for now...

but take a walk out your front door and allow yourselves to be in the environment... see that all that there is is part of you... you are a microcosm of this cosmic macrocosm

chikitsa

been a while since I have been here...

and i have a little confession

i began seeing clients... or as I can now refer to them as patients... and for the most part i feel pretty good... however my client this week is a really hard case and I felt like i really couldn't help her.

I felt like she really needed treatment that is beyond my abilities at this point... and then last night, i think i came through...

our lecture was regarding chikitsa... which is sanskrit for treatment... and suddenly this world started to really open up to me again... and i realized that although I feel a bit like I really need to have more tools at my disposal... I have only been in school since october...

and I guess my understanding is rather incredible considering that...

so I feel more confident than I have in a while... and i tell you this while also feeling like i really wish that I had three weeks off and then started a new trimester... i am sad that I have to wait until january to continue... but i guess it is also an opportunity to see what i do understand...

HI!!

 

hmmm... what can we do here!

 

so different... it was like a dream

this morning i awoke to a great surprise...

a rainy morning!


so i had to stay there... snuggling with kitties and listen to such enchantment... living in quite possibly one of the driest places on earth... the sound of rain is miraculous... and as i walked to school with the drizzle in my hair and a chill in my skin, i noticed that above me just a bit further up the mountain... it is snowing... my rain is that snow... a little lower...

i final down and many to go before i sleep...
and miles to go before i sleep...

and miles to go before i sleep

it's my party!!

today i am 33... and i am happy...



it is a funny thing you know, to have a birthday and realize that you are older and i guess most people i know are a little shy about becoming older... women also dont so much want to admit how old they are... but i have to say... although i did not put much stock in another birthday, this one is almost a testament to my practice, my choices and my life...

i am a practitioner of ayurveda, meditation, pranayama and thoughtful living... and it is this attention and awareness that brought a 33 year old woman into a position where most people think i am a lot younger than i am, even though my hair is grey. this 33 year old woman is healthier, happier, and more conscous in life and creativity and lerning than i ever was when i was younger... and i believe this to be due to food and lifestyle...

so this old young late sits writing to you from a tea house listening to jazz and observing all that this existence is , as far as i am able... and i write to you with a bliss in my heart... in my cells... and i hope for all who read this to take one hour out of thier day to do and be totally aware of what they are doing... no guilt, no judgement no pride... just do each thing with total awareness... no multitasking... if you eat, eat. if you smoke a cigarette, don't read and listen and drive at the same time, just smoke. if you notice the bird, observe it... be with the notification... no judgement, no guilt, no pride...

hey! i heard that gasp... that's right, i am not advocating smoking, i am simply asking you to really look at what you are doing and be with it... eventually you can ask yourself these actions are supportive of you happiness...

it's my birthday and i feel so good... i hope you can give this gift to yourelf i love you

the day before...

it's funny what happens when you stoop and sit and listen to the birds...

i have been looking at new things to learn and continuing to expand my education and then i am sitting somewhere and i listen to the birds... it is definitely spring time here and the birds are playful and frolicking... and i received an email...

ellie wrote and said... "One more thought; give your pitta minds a break! Take a walk, dance, breath fresh air, roll around in the greening grass, climb a tree!"

i think she is right... and so today i have walked around and thought about all the people i love... i spoke with one or two... and now i am enjoying a cup of chai and writing to you... so here is a little toast to rolling around in the grass!!

diagnosis... critical eye

you can see the organs of your body in the iris of your eyes... this week i have spent looking into the irises of others and reading their organs, their family histories of alcoholism, diabetes... looking at history of bronchitis... lower back pain... it is amazing... on the tongue i can see how the persons GI tract is working... how the nutrition of organs is affected... in the nails... i can assess even other things...

but in the eyes... look into someone's eyes for a long time... and you see them... native peoples believe that you can see a person's soul if you look into their eyes which is why when you meet a native person you look into their third eye point and not into their eyes.

there is a lot of energy in the eyes... and it is amazing to learn to see them in their eyes allowing you educate them on how to proceed in their path...

next week, pulse diagnosis... 7 layers of the pulse... another tool used to assess the organs of the body and its imbalances

life is an amazing thing

a beautiful thing

and it is in looking into life and experiencing moment to moment awareness that we are alive... this is Ayurveda

अत्युत्तम

So... i am officially over the halfway point for this level at school... I am admitting that I just might be prone to burning the candle at both ends... and in so doing I realized that I might be able to calm that down a bit.

Today the snow fell again... now, in the midwest this is not a noteworthy event, however, in the southwest, it is. when i look east, the mountains are blue and sprayed with white. the white full clouds nestle sitting in the mountains jagged ruts... glancing west... the desert shows golden with paintbrush strokes of light...

we are currently engrossed in learning about disease process and diagnosis...

it is extraordinary and I just hope sometimes, that i have the capacity to implement this logical, spiritual, and elegant science.

midterms are over

so i wanted to come on here... and let you know that midterms went through nicely and i have worked a lot today...

i've taken to driving around... and i am still quite surprised sometimes at the amazing landscape this place has... it is so beautiful and the sunsets are never a disappointment... if there is a disappointment, it is that i didnt see it...

i took some photos... i will post them soon...

last night there was a party!

okay... so yes it was a party last night... but probably not quite what most of you out there would expect... no drinking, dancing, body flying throughwindows and onto tables... the allumni and current students of the ayurvedic institute meet last night for puja with dr. lad who then spoke, conversation regarding law and current bills regarding the work of ayurvedic practitioners and then a discussion regarding what we want to do in the future... and it was AWESOME... i really thought about all of the great possibilities this wealth of individuals have here and what an impact we can have on our selves and our world...

so... there was intense brainstorming and networking... and a lot of light and joy at the possibilities the future holds for ayurveda and her practitioners.

i just dont know

conversation... peace... nonviolence... how does this end???
what can be done


"UNICEF: 300 Children Killed in Gaza
By VOA News
14 January 2009

An explosion is seen where the Israeli military is bombing an area around alleged smuggling tunnels in Rafah, southern Gaza Strip, 14 Jan 2009
The head of the United Nations children's agency says 300 children have been killed during Israel's campaign in the Gaza Strip.

UNICEF director, Ann Venemen, says more than 1,500 other children have been wounded, casualties she calls "tragic" and "unacceptable."

Separately, Palestinian medics say more than 1,000 people have been killed during the 19-day offensive.

Israel has tightly controlled access to the Palestinian territory, so the numbers cannot be independently verified. But U.N. officials have said previous estimates have been generally credible. Thirteen Israelis have died in the conflict.

In Jerusalem Wednesday, the head of the International Committee of the Red Cross said the situation in Gaza is shocking. Jakob Kellengerger visited the densely-populated territory Tuesday, as well as the Israeli town of Sderot, which has been repeatedly hit by Hamas rockets. He called on both sides to differentiate between military targets and civilians.

Israeli ground forces exchanged heavy fire with Hamas militants in Gaza City Wednesday, while Hamas fired several rockets into southern Israel.

There were no reports of injuries on the Israeli side. Israel says it will not end its campaign until the attacks stop.

A reporter for VOA in Gaza says aircraft bombed a cemetery and the central park today in the Palestinian territory's largest city.

Police say three rockets fired from Lebanon into northern Israel today landed outside the town of Kiryat Shmona. There were no reports of casualties, and there has been no claim of responsibility.

Officials say Israel fired shells into Lebanon in response.

The incident follows a similar rocket attack last Thursday, blamed on small Palestinian militant groups in Lebanon.

Israel said today that an Iranian ship carrying 2,000 tons of aid to Gaza was turned back Tuesday because it violated a general maritime blockade of the territory, not because of the ships point of origin.

Iran, which does not recognize Israel, has condemned its offensive in Gaza.

And international activists left Cyprus Wednesday in another bid to bring aid to the territory. An attempt earlier this week was canceled because of technical problems on board. Last month, another effort ended when a ship with the Free Gaza group collided with an Israeli naval vessel."